Captain Falcon Crackfic 2
by ClashSmashMac369
Summary: C. Falcon is back with TONS more narrators, and even a couple of special guests! wanna be weirded out forever? then read this CrackFic!


"Sho mii ya moovz!"

Yes, this is part 2. Um… Are we on?

"YES!"

Gr8. *ahem*. 3, 2, 1…

Hai! i'M tHe N rR t0r! Naise t0o meEtcHa

"O_0"

whAtS r0ng!

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

mAi teXt iZ f1n3 wUt r u taKinG ab0uT- hAy wuT haPpeNeD!

"YES!"

mY grAmeR sw1tCh oK hEar..

Ah, much better. Ok, let's get started.

"YES!"

So, we got more narrators since last time. We also got some anti-falcon-punch clothes. HAH! In your face, Captain falcon!

*takes off narrator's anti-falcon-punch clothing.*

"Falcon…"

OH NO!

 **PAWWWWWWWWWNCH!**

Well, that was quick. Note to self: _never_ insult the captain.

"YES!"

._.

"YES!"

" _YES_!"

:(

" _ **YES!"**_

No.

" _ **YES!"**_

Before this escalates, let's move on… So Cap… *pulls out a flamethrower* ANTI FALCON PUNCH _THIS_! AUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!

" *chokes* Uuagh!"

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YES! _YES_! _**YES!**_ BURN, YOU CRAZY FALCON! **BURN!**

*captain falcon seemingly vanishes into thin air*

Huh? Where'd you go?

"Falcon…"

*flinch*…...just do it al-

 **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!**

See why we hired more narrators this time around? We're, what, 2 pages in? And we already lost 2 of 'em. Not to mention it took _months_ to hire even _one_ person because everyone saw what happened to them last book [which, btw, if you haven't read that one, go do that now ;)].

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

When did trump get involved in this?!

"When this guy mentioned building a wall."

GAH! President trump!

"What?"

Uh… First of all, where'd you come from?

"Dunno."

But-

"NO BUTS!"

K

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

I listen to him because he's the president, and your not.

"Cum awn!"

No! You're not running for president!

"YES!"

No! Don't!

"YES!"

Too late? What are you talking about?

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

You're not the president! Are you crazy?!

"YES!"

I should've known.

"Cum awn!"

Why would I do thaaaaaoooohhh mygoshwhatdidyoudototheamericanflag?!

"YES!"

YOU LITERALLY JUST SCRIBBLED YOUR FACE ON IT! HOW IS THAT AN _IMPROVEMENT_?!

"Cum awn!"

BURN IT! KILL IT WITH **FIRE!**

"Cum awn!"

GET THE FLAMETHROWER!

"NO!"

*insert dramatic gasp here*..….…my whole world has been turned upside down.

"YES!"

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go sit in a corner and rethink my life's decisions.

"YES!"

*song* A-B-C-D-E-F-G, falcon is my enemy! stick a rifle up his nose, pull the trigger there he goes! A-B-C-D-E-F-G, falcon is my enemy!

"Falcown…"

Oh sh!t I'm sorry-

 **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!**

3 down, 7 to go.

"YES!"

Uh… Is _this_ falcon language? I'm sorry, but the producers only had time to teach the first 3 narrators falcon language. I'm the 4th. So from here on out, bye-bye translations.

"YES!"

See what I mean? This guy's crazy!

"..…"

….

"..."

._.

"Falcown…"

The only thing I can understand.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

…..welp, I'm gonna die.

"YES!"

Awww, fu- I mean, crap.

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

I'll use whatever language I want! _I'm_ the narrator here!

"Falcown…"

OhCrapWhatHaveIDoneI'mGonnaDieI'mGonna-

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Mom! Dad! I'm comiiiiiiiiiiiiing!

OUR NARRATORS ARE HALFWAY GONE _ALREADY_?!

"YES!"

*sigh*. Well, while I'm here, I may as well make the best of it.

"YES!"

Even though I'm gonna die in the end anyway.

"YES!"

You're not helping.

"YES!"  
*sigh*. Well, before this gets any worse, let's move on-

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

What was that? In came from the skyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooooooooohhMyGoshWhatDidYouDoToTheMoon?!

"Sho mii ya moovz!"

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU _FIXED_ IT?!

"YES!"

'YES' ISN'T AN ANSWER! UGH, WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?!

(singing) who can say where the road goes?

WHO IS _SINGING_ THAT?!

"Falcown…"

I knew I was gonna die.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

Yay! I'm in the top 5!

"YES!"

Yeah!

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"YES!

When is this gonna end?

"YES!"

Yeah!

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"YES!"

Yeah!

"YES!"

OK, I'm done.

"Falcown…"

Crap.

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

(singing) IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOOOOOOOWN!

"WhoaWhoaWhoa~Whoa~~~WhoaWhoaWhoa~Whoa~Whoa~~~WhoaWhoaWhoaWhoa~Whoa~~WhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoa~~WhoaWhoaWhoa~WhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoa!"

Where did crash bandicoot come from?!

"WhoaWhoaWhoaWhoaWhoa!"

"YES!

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Make it stop…..."YES!

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ALRIGHT THAT'S ENOUGH! STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR ELSE-

"Falcown…"

See ya guys!

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

After me, it's over.

"YES!"

Let's make this quick. *kicks Captain Falcon where it counts*

*Captain falcon's face turns a dangerous shade of red* "Falcown…"

 **The End**

" **PAWWWWWWWWWWWWWNCH!"**

 **Fin**


End file.
